It's all crap, actually, the girl with the crystal eyes. It's just my insides being gay since hormones are coursing through them. So let's just agree that the girl with the crystal eyes is the girl with the crystal eyes and continue this...
You're probably thinking why I'm being emo today. Well, maybe you're not. But to make things quick, I am. I'm being quite emo today.
I just had this fight with my best friend. She was like my bestest friend. And me? I was just a dick. I was so hellbent on making things right, that the other things fell apart.
She had this...this exhilarating smile, which if you were the cause of, you'd feel that the motive of your existence is fulfilled. And even if you weren't, it'd make you feel like everything in the world is perfect for those few moments. It's addictive. It's more addictive than downing 50 tequila shots, because you'll pass out within 15 anyway, but you'll just be lost in that smile forever, and there's no coming back.
Her facial features, so meticulously grafted, were the second best thing in the world (Hey, hey, you, I'm still a guy. I like Fifa better). And hugging her was like free-falling into this bottomless pit with her right beside you, forever...
And what did I do? Got drunk, and fucked everything up. She probably hates me now, more than anyone or anything in the world. And I wouldn't be surprised, I'm quite a fucked up guy.
I've apologised, but to no avail. I wish I could just sleep endlessly, because staying awake is not easy, especially with your brain processing a 100 thoughts at one moment, out of which 99 are related to the girl. The thought of never being the cause of that smile ever again kills me on the inside, but maybe I just have to suck it up and live with it.
There's a fine line between her being your bestfriend, and girlfriend. You're probably thinking I like her. Probably thinking she's the love of my life. But the appalling part is, she isn't. There aren't words to describe what we had between us(it kills me to use the past tense here), and if there are, I don't know any. But I can tell you one thing, it's at some place very special between friendship and a relationship.
I wish to God she saw this, I do. But let's be realistic and not kid ourselves here, such miracles don't happen.
So maybe I'll just sit back, wait for her reply, while this post of mine will age by the day and disappear someday, without her ever coming across it...
You're probably thinking why I'm being emo today. Well, maybe you're not. But to make things quick, I am. I'm being quite emo today.
I just had this fight with my best friend. She was like my bestest friend. And me? I was just a dick. I was so hellbent on making things right, that the other things fell apart.
She had this...this exhilarating smile, which if you were the cause of, you'd feel that the motive of your existence is fulfilled. And even if you weren't, it'd make you feel like everything in the world is perfect for those few moments. It's addictive. It's more addictive than downing 50 tequila shots, because you'll pass out within 15 anyway, but you'll just be lost in that smile forever, and there's no coming back.
Her facial features, so meticulously grafted, were the second best thing in the world (Hey, hey, you, I'm still a guy. I like Fifa better). And hugging her was like free-falling into this bottomless pit with her right beside you, forever...
And what did I do? Got drunk, and fucked everything up. She probably hates me now, more than anyone or anything in the world. And I wouldn't be surprised, I'm quite a fucked up guy.
I've apologised, but to no avail. I wish I could just sleep endlessly, because staying awake is not easy, especially with your brain processing a 100 thoughts at one moment, out of which 99 are related to the girl. The thought of never being the cause of that smile ever again kills me on the inside, but maybe I just have to suck it up and live with it.
There's a fine line between her being your bestfriend, and girlfriend. You're probably thinking I like her. Probably thinking she's the love of my life. But the appalling part is, she isn't. There aren't words to describe what we had between us(it kills me to use the past tense here), and if there are, I don't know any. But I can tell you one thing, it's at some place very special between friendship and a relationship.
I wish to God she saw this, I do. But let's be realistic and not kid ourselves here, such miracles don't happen.
So maybe I'll just sit back, wait for her reply, while this post of mine will age by the day and disappear someday, without her ever coming across it...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI just read a couple of your posts. Your work is stellar. And your writing is honest. Touching.
ReplyDeleteAnd hey, I hope things are better now. :)