Wednesday, 24 October 2012

October Diaries.


24th October, 2012.

It started off with this stare she held, when she walked into the party where we first met. Of course, things were different back then, and I was quite mesmerised with the aura she reflected when she spoke with such zeal. I really didn't care much, though, but after a while she walked up to me and said "Hi! I think I've seen you somewhere". Being the guy I am, I started talking to her. Bit by bit, day by day, the proximity increased. I realised she was an extrovert, and a brilliant person. Was a writer, was quite smart, and of course, quite the nerd. She was that one person a guy could openly speak to when the rest of the girls on this planet were a little too PMS-y. We grew closer, and a few months later, since we shared similar career goals, landed up in the same medical college. She was never my closest friend, but she was just there. Always. We shared this perpetual similarity, and it was only her I could say whatever I wanted with. Our conversations went on from relationships-are-repulsive to That-corpse-was-reeking-worse-than-my-grandmom's-shampoo. And despite the fact that she bares the name of this candy I used to hate as a kid, I still love her.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Tiffany D'souza.





Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Blind Faith.

The phone goes crazy as it starts beeping in her ears. She gains her consciousness, a little annoyed, as her hands struggle to find the phone and put it out of its misery. As she sits up, she joins her hands and murmurs the words out. "Oh Lord, thank you for this blessed morning and the warm summer breeze. I hope you bring elation and fulfil my wish of living to see the next day." She crawls out of bed and waddles her way to the washroom.

"Breakfast is ready, Laura!" a woman calls out. The toothbrush still in her mouth, Laura goes next to her and lets the aroma waft into her.

"Don't you get a little sick of making pancakes for me so often, aunt June?", Laura says as she's chewing it cheerfully on the table. Her aunt gives her a pleasant smile, but Laura doesn't see it.

"So Laura, have you considered it?", her aunt asks. Laura chucks the fork in the plate followed by a sigh of exasperation.

"Baby, I know it's been hard for you, but you need to understand that all this is being done to help you out. It's for your own good.", her aunt said.

"I've talked to you about this, aunt June. I am not going to anyone and I don't need any help", she said in a commanding tone.

Her aunt begins, "But Laur-", "I said I don't need help!", Laura cuts her off as her eyes are tearing up. "How many times do I have to tell you, aunt June? I don't want to go to anyone!" She yells, now crying. "You have no idea what it's like! And you never will! Never!".

Aunt June now says in a consoling tone, "But baby, I'm just doing what your mother thought would be bes-". "Stop trying to do what my mother would've done! You're not my mother!", Laura snaps.

She starts searching for anything that's within reach and starts throwing stuff around while bawling horridly. She storms towards her room and hurts her toe on the way by walking into the wall by mistake. She sits on her bed, crying. She looks up at the ceiling, "Why was this done to me? Did I really deserve this? My dreams are all I had, and those too are taken away from me." She sinks her head into her hands, and the memories come rushing through.

She was in her car with her parents. It was just six months ago and yet, it seemed like yesterday. An elated, immature, innocent girl, just wanting to have dreams. Just paint down everything that infatuated her. And so they went for a camping trip to the hills. "Where are we going, Dad?", she asked, while painting a picture of her with her family on a lush field of grass. "To Wonderland, dear. You can sit and paint there all day long.", he said, in a joyous manner. "While me and your Dad are just going to adore your artwork all day", said her mother in a chirpy way. The painting was almost done, but she'd left the eyes for the very end, as she believed capturing the right amount of emotions was the most important and the hardest thing to do. Just as she finished drawing their eyes, her dad took a look at it and started to improvise it himself. Almost done, he looked at the road, and that's where it all began. A huge carrier truck was now speeding towards them. Both of them swirled at the opposite sides of the road to avoid each other in a state of shock, but the lumber form the carrier truck made it's way through and crushed her parents after hitting her spine, rendering the car to turn over on the asphalt, leaving the three of them strewn on the road. She regained consciousness, but it was dark everywhere. She crawled up to her mother, following the sound of her murmurs. "B-baby, are you okay?", her mother spurted out. "I'm fine, mom. I'll get you out of this", she stammered. "Your parents love you, Laura. Never forget that." "Mom?", she asked with an edge of uncertainty in her voice. No response. Wanting to see her mother so bad, she struggled and rubbed her eyes. Nothing happened. Realisation dawned. The doctors say the wood damaged her optic nerve flowing through the spine.

This the story of Laura Black, who didn't even get a chance to see the lights go out of her mother's eyes.
This is the story of the girl whose eyes will remain undone in the painting she made. Forever.


P.S. This sort of thing could be the concept of a story. Reviews are needed.


Saturday, 6 October 2012

What's on your mind?

Statuses. That's all Facebook is full of nowadays. And none of it makes sense. Even Mark Zuckerburg doesn't. It's supposed to be your 'status', but you will still be asked in the status dialogue box, "What's on your mind?". But I'm not really complaining here. I'm a part of it. And admit it, you cannot call it a day unless you see a few emo statuses with random letters capitalised and have emoticons flowing out of it's ass.
So I was just wasted one day, scrolling through my homepage and reading all the statuses which asked for my attention, and I just thought what it all would be like when we're old. Like, really old. Like, I'll-die-before-I-can-spell-old old. And I'm pretty sure the thinking of these people will remain the same. Now, of course, one of my close friends would be like "Eh. Didn't mention my son in my will. He called me uncool for wearing retarded shoes when I was young and when he heard that I cried after I got drunk. Twice. Who's laughing now? I need a smoke." While another one would be like "Just caught Qwerty fornicating with a cougar. He thought I was bed-ridden. Shmow! :P". While another one like, "I'd give away my life to spend another day with you. Whatever's left of it, anyway. Because my love for you is red. BURNING, BLAZING RED. <3" *cough-Renelle-cough*

I think I'll go now. Arsenal's playing. Bye.

Friday, 5 October 2012

The Identity.

I want to grow. Grow, and show the world that there's more to me than just this. I want to breathe. Breathe, beyond what these four walls of my home can understand. The mirror reflecting my inner self, I want to go out there and dent the universe. But I still find myself walking the sidewalks like a ghost, knowing nothing about the motive of this arid life that I live. What am I today? Am I a failure aspiring to be an achiever? Am I just another freak with different perceptions? Am I a writer striving so hard to make a nobody remember my name? I am all of these, but still none of these. Typing 'Who is Nasir Nawaaz?' in a search engine and finding nothing but networking dust and half-expecting a bomb squad to gatecrash my place, I think to myself, "When am I going to be something more than just a shadow?" But guess what? The question remains unanswered. And every day, just like the day before, I reach nowhere further than just a contemplative stage with my dreams. I want to end this inexplicable agony.

I want to find out who I am.

Tribute: Steve Jobs(24.02.1955-05.10.2012).