Lovedrug

            One hit. That's all that was required. It crawled through my windpipe, the minuscule claws jutting out and grabbing hold of everything it could lay its hands on. There was no pain, without there being pleasure. It sent a chill down my spine, a transmission up my head. It dissipated slowly, piece by piece, with each piece having a sensation of its own. It spread through my blood, ubiquitously so, and there was a tingle in my fingertips. I could feel the chemistry of it unraveling just beneath the skin. It was like a shot up my head, a hammer on my leg. It gasped in my being, leaving me breathless. I couldn't feel a thing, without feeling anything at all. I stopped making sense to myskjdals. Wait. This was uncalled for. But wasn't everything else too? So I let it ingest me. I let it take control. It steered my emotions, and veered towards the horizon. In their place, my insides were seared. It was so weird. Agreed, it was an addiction like never before. A feeling which bereft me of any feelings at all. But I felt everything. There was a nervous tic, a flutter of anxiety. And it rained on my head from a fountainhead of an empty bed. That being said, the nightmares were the ones to watch out for. There was an ocean, above which there was no sky. The water was translucent, and far away, there was a faint hue of a certain few. I couldn't stop drowning, but I didn't drown. I struggled for breath as water replaced the oxygen inside me, making me wish I were dead. But I didn't die. I just drowned, in the emptiness of my existence, the hollow of my emotions. But it made me feel like I was fond of the pain. Or was I? It dimmed the lights in my head, until the temperature around me dropped to stone-cold. My heart froze, making me realize that I'd had one all along. Air escaped out, until I finally fell but didn't live long enough to watch myself hit the ground. It was a good experience, though,

to find what I loved and let it kill me.